Internal Monologue – Posting for Black Lives Matter

This past week, I have probably analysed every single angle for why I should or shouldn’t post on Instagram for #BlackLivesMatter. This is a written transcript of all my thoughts, but by no means have I found a “right” answer.

Firstly, I would like to acknowledge how important and helpful it is that so many people are sharing information and support on Instagram. I myself have found it very informative, but on top of that, it’s also a touching way to show solidarity. Given this, it would only be logical that I post things as well, right?

And yet, I find myself struggling.

I am a person of colour living in a European country. Not only do I feel like I am constantly engaging with the issues of racism in a predominantly white country in my everyday life (most of the time by choice and sometimes otherwise), but I’m also doing a political study for which I am actively discussing social and political issues all the time. On top of this, I spend much of my free time online, reading up on more information relating to a variety of different societal problems. The most distressing and unpleasant aspects of the world – be it related to various forms of discrimination, the environment, poverty, and more – dominate almost all spheres of my life. Where I draw the line is my own personal social media. I know that it is a great platform for spreading information, but it’s where I like to keep things light; I would rather post a photo of myself partying than about the current massacre of Afghans in Iran. I feel like I NEED this to stay sane. I know that I am a person who takes on the issues of the world like a sponge, and it does affect my mental health immensely. I don’t think I could handle it if the most depressing parts of society follow me even on my social media accounts (pun intended).

Going back to BLM. By NO means am I saying that it is okay to be passive right now.

Regardless of where we are in the world, if we are in a position where we can help in any way, we must. Black people have had enough, and they should not have to face the traumas imposed on them all by themselves. I am specifically talking about posting things on social media, not the various ways of helping behind the scenes.

But is this my very privilege that allows me to choose when I want to help and when I don’t? Am I letting down the black community? I can’t help but feel guilty, and perhaps I should. There is definitely a lot less information amongst the community I am in regarding BLM, so maybe it would actually make an impact if I did post. It wouldn’t just be another post amongst a sea of many. At the same time, could it be that different people can do their part in different ways, and it’s okay if I help using other means than posting online? I don’t know.

Even more importantly, if I feel so reluctant to post, would I be doing it for the right reasons?

Would it be to spread awareness, or would it be because I fear that I would be perceived as being passive? I would never want my motivations to be tainted like this, but I am human and it can happen, even if I am not consciously aware of it.

As I said, I don’t have a “right” answer to this dilemma.

All I know is that the most important thing right now is for all non-blacks to fight the fight alongside the beautiful black community because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

By Albena Labib